When I changed the way I talk to my kids, it had a big effect not just on how I felt but on them too. I’ve made mistakes as a mom, and I’ve learned from them – sometimes the hard way, and sometimes just by watching. It hit me that the way I talk to my kids really matters! The tone I use, the words I choose, and even how my body language is – it all shapes how they feel in that moment. So, with time, here are a few things I changed over the course of time to get better at the way I speak with them…

1. I made a conscious decision to stop raising my voice and instead focused on raising my words. It became clear to me that there’s a significant difference between being firm and resorting to yelling. By choosing my words carefully, I found a more effective way to communicate with the kids, even my husband. This shift not only reduced tension but also fostered a more respectful and understanding atmosphere in my interactions with them. It’s a small change that made a big difference in how I connected with them.

2. I became mindful of how I spoke to them as kept reminding myself that my words would become their inner voice. Being aware of the impact of my words on my children, I started being really careful about how I spoke to them. I reminded myself constantly that the way I talk could become the voice inside their heads. It’s like planting seeds of thoughts, and I wanted those seeds to grow into positive and confident beliefs for them. This mindfulness changed the way I communicated, making sure my words were encouraging and supportive. I realized that shaping their inner voice starts with the words I choose, and it became a powerful motivation for me to be a better mom.

3. I started to actually listen to them, no matter how busy I was. When I listened to their little stuff, they came to tell me the big stuff. It’s like building a bridge of trust and I realized that being there for their small stories was a key to understanding the big chapters of their lives.

4. In difficult situations, first, I tried to calm myself. Once I was composed, it was easier to handle the storm in them. Once I was feeling okay, it made it easier to see the big picture and help them through their tough times. It’s like being a steady rock for them when things are shaky.

5. I started to focus on de-escalating conflict. No matter how I felt personally, I tried to give them a safe space to express themselves. I began to work on making arguments calmer. Even if I was upset, I wanted them to feel safe to talk. It’s like creating a comfortable zone where they can share their feelings, and we can figure things out together without things getting too heated.

Do you agree that the way we talk to them, with everything from our tone to our words, can either build them up or bring them down?